Customers Tell Their Scary Stories

Growing up, my dad had a scary story he was famous (read infamous) for among my friends. I’ll spare you the long, drawn-out details that would take my dad close to an hour to tell around the campfire, but his story went something like this.

It was a cold, winter night in the late 1800s and a man named Nathaniel was riding horseback down an old dirt road. It was late and he was exhausted, heading home from work to his house on a small farm several miles outside the city. Nothing but moonlight was guiding them through the overhanging trees and keeping them safely on the path. The methodical clop, clop, clop of the horse’s hooves had almost lulled Nathaniel to sleep when suddenly the silence of the night was torn into by the shrill, violent scream of a woman. The scream was loud. She seemed to be right beside them!

Nathaniel was so stunned that he fell off his horse, which panicked the animal so badly it bolted off down the dirt road, leaving Nathaniel laying alone on the ground. Nathaniel had twisted his ankle rather badly but painfully rose to his feet to assess his situation. He peered through the darkness best he could, trying to find where this woman in distress might be, knowing there might be danger behind any shadow. He pulled out a small knife from his boot and began to limp cautiously down the road.

He walked for a few minutes and there was nothing but darkness and silence. He started to play through the likeliest scenarios in his mind, thinking the scream must have been some type of startled animal and there was no reason for alarm. But just as Nathaniel’s nerves began to settle, the chill in his spine returned. In the distance, he began to see a light, but it wasn’t a normal light, it was a strange green glow. As he drew closer and closer, he saw the light was coming from an old farmhouse.

Nathaniel had traveled this road hundreds of times through the years and had never seen this house before. Had he been so tired that he took a wrong turn? Or somehow gotten confused when he was thrown from the horse? Either way, he was intrigued. The house was lit up throughout with this strange green light, and by this point, Nathaniel had to know what was going on. He hobbled slowly to the door and knocked on the large wooden front door, but there was no answer.

He then realized that it was the dead of night and the people inside might be startled by him as well, unaware of what was going on, so he announced himself. “Hello! My name is Nathaniel, and I heard a woman scream. Is everything okay inside? My horse ran away, I’m injured, and I could use some help.” Suddenly the door swung open.

Nathaniel tentatively stuck his head inside. “Hello?” No answer. He called out louder; still nothing but silence. He took a few steps inside and looked around but there seemed to be no one home. There was a staircase in the corner of the room, and upstairs seemed to be where the strange light was coming from. Nathaniel, still gripping his knife, bravely decided to investigate further.

Upstairs there was a long hallway with many doors, but one where the green light was shining out around every side. Nathaniel tried one more time, “Hello? Is anyone there?” This time his voice trembled. He walked forward and pushed the door open.

Just as he did, another woman’s scream let loose and Nathaniel fell to the floor in terror. He looked through the door and there on the floor in the center of the room was a large, wooden coffin with the lid wide open. He couldn’t see inside, only that inside the coffin was where the green glow was coming from. Just as he started to climb to his feet, the coffin lid slammed shut with a loud thump and the entire thing started to rise off the floor. Nathaniel scrambled to his feet as quickly as he could and tried to get away, but his ankle was still shooting pain. He made it to the hallway and as he hit the staircase he turned to look behind. The coffin was floating out of the room and following right behind him!

Nathaniel was panicked and lost his footing on the stairs, tumbling all the way to the bottom. Somewhere in the fall he lost grip on his knife and lost it in the darkness, but it was of little comfort to him now anyway. Hurting and terrified at the bottom of the stairs, Nathaniel opened his eyes to see the coffin catching up to him. He tried to move, but his body failed him. As the coffin started to come closer, he thought it was the end.

In one last move of desperation, he frantically searched his belt and his pockets to see if there was anything he could use to fight. The coffin was now hovering directly over Nathaniel. He closed his eyes, not knowing what would come next. Then he felt it. SALVATION.
In the front pocket of his jacket, he pulled out a packet of cough drops, whipped them out quickly and… he stopped that coffin.

First of all, I apologize. If you read that all the way through, you have just fallen victim to one of the most extravagant “dad jokes” of all time.

I heard that story multiple times, and it was always met with groans of disappointment and head shaking. It’s frustrating to get so invested in a story only to be let down by the ending, right?

So, why am I telling you this other than just for an excuse to share a scary (corny) story at Halloween time? I want to give you a warning that can be kind of scary. When the story of your customer’s interaction with you has a bad ending, they’re quick to share their horror stories with everyone they know. You can’t always control the outcome and some people are impossible to please, but you can take a couple of steps to make sure your reputation isn’t hacked up like someone at a summer camp on Friday the 13th.

#1. Head the problem off. 99.9% of problems will never become problems in the first place if we simply communicate better. That’s true with a lot of facets of life, but if you train your techs to do one simple, five-second thing before they leave every job, I promise it will save you a world of nightmares. Ask the customer if they’re satisfied with their service. Many techs are afraid to do this because they might be scared of the answer. As the owner… require it. This will serve a few different purposes: if the tech knows they’ve got to ask before they leave, they’ll be much more careful; if the customer is happy with their service, the tech can immediately ask for a review; AND (most importantly) if there’s a problem it can be fixed immediately before ever leaving the site! How often are you left frustrated because of a negative review, and you’re shaking your head saying, “Well, why didn’t they just tell me there was an issue?!” Ask, and the majority of them will.

#2. Give them a forum where you get to be a part of the conversation. Bad news and consumer horror stories can spread like wildfire through supermarkets, hair salons and high school football games. What do all these places have in common? You probably aren’t there to defend yourself when the story is being told. Make sure you have an open forum like a Facebook page or a Google Business profile where people can come share their stories, both good and bad, and encourage them to do so.
Sure, you want nothing but five-star, glowing reviews, but that’s simply not real life. What you can do is direct all the feedback to these types of places where, when there is a negative response, you can address it and tell your side of the story. These are NOT places for public arguments, but many times negative reviews are outright lies or just simple misunderstandings. If you’re there to state there’s more to the story than what’s being presented by a mad homeowner, usually it’s plenty to give all those other hundreds of potential customers who see it reason to doubt.

#3. Silence is deadly. Scary movies are full of bad decisions, and the absolute worst thing you can do with problems of any kind is to ignore them and hope they simply go away. Most times, issues start small, but as time goes on and customers get ignored, little hiccups fester and turn into full-blown monsters. Be the hero, face difficult things head-on and even be willing to eat some crow if that’s what’s required. Don’t let one $250 screw-up cost you not only that customer, but also future business from 5 of their family members and their entire Sunday School class.

#4. It’s harder to attack a friend. This is another reason it’s so important to build a relationship and a connection with your customer base in every way you possibly can. If you’ll invest in them and they feel like they know you a little better than just being the first name that comes up on a Google search, they are much less likely to blast you if something goes wrong. People give more grace and forgiveness to those they feel truly care about them. Keep in contact with them through regular newsletters, emails, social interaction, etc., and if a problem arises, they’ll feel like it’s something they can handle with a friend, rather than their eyes immediately turning red.

Sometimes your interactions with customers will have bad endings, and that can be scary, but they don’t have to turn into slanderous bloodbaths.

If you’d like more ideas on how to handle the customer service and retention side of your business, give me a shout. I’d love to help. You can email me at [email protected] or call (800) 489-9099 to book an appointment. Together we can make working with the public less terrifying.