New Year, Old Fear, Same Beer

“It’s gonna be different this year,” we tell ourselves. Yet even this early in the New Year, many people’s new goals start looking like old habits.

Somewhere between the thinking and the doing, things can get weird. Not that the intention wasn’t real at the time, but the resistance to stepping out or stepping up is fear that we’ll be stepping in something we’d rather not.

So we halt. Wishing but hesitant. Seeing but not believing.

Though the goals for betterment and achievement get written down, and we repeat the mantra of their attainment, something in us just wants to pull up the warm covers of contentment and say, “I’m fine.” Truth is, you’re not. I’m dang sure not. None of us who ever pined for more or better is ever “fine.”

That’s the mask of convenience when “LET ME TELL YOU WHY I’M A LITTLE AFRAID TO SUCCEED OR FAIL” seems a bit much for polite conversation.

So, let’s consider these abnormal but totally normal goals to help you stay on the track for a happier, more truthful year:

GOAL 1: Be honest enough to accept being human, admitting to procrastination or fear. Heck – welcome it, give it a name, call it out, shout it down. It heckles you; why not heckle it? Pretending its not there is a guarantee of its success in trampling your goals.

GOAL 2: Ask for help. We guys are fairly rotten at this. I’d drive in circles until I wore a groove in the pavement before asking directions. Truth is, the only real shortcut in life is learning from the learned. The trick is to seek guidance from someone who’s come through the same fire. Not from Fakebook friends (spelling intentional). Not from your thrice-married, umpteenth-time divorced crazy uncle. Not from those who’ve turned complaint into an art form.

Gain sage pointers from an honest-to-God victor in the struggle you face. Whatever that is, others have beat it, soundly, like a flippin’ rag doll and are itching to tell you their story with you as the next hero. Promise. And I’m pulling for you big time. (If you want advice from a mostly pretend writer turned consultant turned speaker/business owner now ex-business owner with an immature sense of humor, I’m your guy.)

Now for the oddest one –

GOAL 3: Quit looking for the new goal. Yep, that’s because last year’s goals are probably moping around, lonely yet worthy. In our distraction-addicted world, the shiny object syndrome has reached epidemia.

Seriously, what did you already start that has plenty of merit, some heavy lifting done, people who were on-board, but got abandoned from the attraction of newness? Always starting but not finishing is a habit you want to model for no one, not your kids, your co-workers, your lenders and especially not yourself.

So let me urge you to pick up something old, worthy, finishable.

Speaking of finish, we’ll wind up with this last abnormal but normal goal for the honest seeker:

Beware the Shallow Goal

For most part, we talk to contractors about one thing: business building. Translation? More sales. What precedes more sales? More leads. What precedes more leads?

A lot, it turns out. But one thing you’re not considering is more important than all the rest. This single ingredient is the fuel to more completed goals than anything else I’ve ever encountered.

So, Mr. Contractor Person comes to us and says, “I want more leads.” Being good little consultants, we ask, “Why?” which at first seems about as stupid as you ordering a beer, and the bartender asking you “Why?”

But we’re not bartenders, nor shoe salespeople, nor feel-good fast food order-taking junkies. We’re counselors. Anyone who takes your money for marketing, sales training or about any consultative advice who does NOT ask you “Why” has overlooked the purpose of them being hired.

And that purpose is to heal the patient. Not mask, not band-aid, no soothing platitudes nor impressive-sounding ways we are going to fix your problem. We’re there to guide, correct and ultimately fix the patient and their thinking about the problem.

So “Why” do you want more leads becomes a series of “In order to’s.” To get more sales. Why? To make more money. Why? To build my business. Why? To pay people better. Why? To lead us and others to better lives. Why? To serve higher goals.

You must admit “Serving higher goals (freedom, retirement, transitioning the business, giving more to charity, et cetera)” is a L-O-N-G dang way from “More leads.” The bigger your why, the deeper the drive and more likely the attainment.

I mean, which would you focus on more and consider a more worthy calling: Leads or Better Lives?

So let’s rethink the goal-setting ritual of more, new, faster, better, fresher. Go for honest, worthy and meaningful. You’re farther along than you think.